COFFEE DAYS WHISKEY NIGHTS :: Cyrus Parker

As I continue my quest to read more poetry, I really have nothing to go on but my gut. In this case, what better to take a chance on than this kickass cover referencing two of my favorite things? I had not heard of Cyrus Parker before picking up Coffee Days Whiskey Nights, but if I knew he describes himself as a non-binary storyteller and wrestler-turned-poet I would have been all-in from the get-go.

Turns out Parker's poetry really speaks to me. I have no idea what that means as far as style or subgenre. Poetry for me is like the most art-like of literary categories, I have no idea how poetry is subjectively judged, I can't write it, and I just know in my innards when I like it. This is such a collection.

Parker himself bills the collection in the best way, as "a collection of poetry, prose, and aphorisms that juxtaposes the hopefulness a brand new day can bring with the lingering thoughts that often keep us up into the late-night hours. A lot can happen between the first sip of coffee and the last taste of whiskey, and this book takes a look at the way a single day can change our outlook on everything from relationships with others, to our relationships with ourselves, and everything in between. Ultimately, coffee days whiskey nights illustrates that no matter how hopeless we may feel at the end of the day, a new one is only a few hours away."

The pieces speak on a variety of personal subjects--friendship, fitting in, control, eating disorders, gender dysphoria and the like. I enjoyed the clear precision of Parker's prose. I didn't have to guess or struggle to find meaning in his phrasing, it was all right there smacking me in the face. Maybe it's recognition that brings clarity from poetry, I don't know, but it's one of the reasons I love searching for a new collection that resonates. I'm not sure if connecting with this set means I do find hope at the beginning of the day or am used to feeling the lack of it at the end, but I always find hope in words strung together the way Parker lays them down. I highly recommend this collection and to give you a brief taste I've cited to some of my favorite lines below.

i’ve let some into my life, my home, whose words taste of cotton candy in the daylight, but drip like venom under cover of night.

my entire existence is a contradiction of itself. i hate leaving the house but i love to travel. i spend my day counting calories to counteract my need to consume until there’s nothing left. i was born into skin that i want nothing more than to tear off and reshape into something new. i crave companionship but never feel compelled to reach out to those i care about. i am a hopeless romantic but i have an inability to express love in a way that makes people feel loved. i make jokes about dying, when all i want to do is feel alive.

i think about all the parts of me i changed for others and wonder just who it is i’d be if i had just stayed true to myself.

no matter the size of my clothes, no matter how well they fit, my body is the most uncomfortable thing i wear.

i try to make myself as small as possible, to leave a footprint that is faint, to become invisible without actually disappearing. this body has never really felt like it belonged, so i won’t let it take up any more space than it already does.

This is a nifty and thoughtful collection that I highly recommend and I'll no doubt be on the lookout for more of Parker's work. This is one for the expanding poetry portion of the physical shelf.